National Infertility Awareness Week

Even though more and more couples suffer from infertility it is still a subject that isn't talked about. Those who suffer, do so in silence. Infertility leaves a feeling of inferiority and guilt. It is so frustrating to not be able to perform the task for which our bodies were created. There is little sensativity and even less for those of us suffering secondary infertility. I wanted to share our story so that others won't feel so alone. For some reason, there is strength in numbers. I wish that we had sought out others in the same situation. I hope our story will help those who haven't experienced infertilty to understand as well.

As most of you know by now, Cole and I are expecting our second child in mid January. It doesn't seem real to us yet. This baby is an answered prayer for us as we have been trying to conceive for nearly two years. It has been a very personal and private issue for us. When we decided to start a family, Levi came about with no problems. We made the decision to leave it in God's hands. Much to our surprise, four weeks later we were holding a positive pregnancy test. I had the picture perfect pregnancy with no complications. I did require a scheduled cesarean delivery a week past my due date because of Levi's size. (Our bundle of joy was a whopping 8lbs 13oz!)
We decided that when Levi turned two years old that the time was right for him to become a big brother. I saw my general practitioner and my OBGYN for full physicals. Everything looked great so I started the routine of eating very healthy, no caffeine, 64 ounces of water a day and prenatal vitamins. With each month that went by the disappointment grew stronger. At the six month mark, we had another visit with my OBGYN who assured us that we had won the baby lottery by getting pregnant the very first month with Levi. For the average couple, twelve months was normal. We didn't have any major changes or health problems since our previous pregnancy, so there was no cause for alarm.
As another six months ticked by there were two late periods. Home pregnancy tests said we were not pregnant but with fingers crossed we did blood tests only to discover the home tests were right. We were devastated. Along with hugs and reassurance, Dr Loofe decided it was time to take things a step further. Another six months (18 months total)of charting temperatures and a stock pile of pregnancy tests but we were still a family of three. It became obvious that I was not ovulating regularly. Before agreeing to fertility drugs, there were more tests to do.
All tests came back clear so our two options were ovulation inducing medication or a laproscopic surgery. We opted to take the medication over surgery.
Never telling each other, we both were letting go. This was the last thread of hope. With tear filled eyes and shaking hands I took the first doses. There were so many questions "What if it didn't work? and the side effects?" or "twins?" We did everything just as the doctor ordered and once again we have hit the baby lottery after only one round of the ovulation inducing medication, chlomid. With giggles, tears, hugs, and kisses, Cole and I shared that moment. It has been such a long journey that we were afraid to allow ourselves to be excited. It still feels like a movie or a dream. With appointments scheduled and multiple test taken, its really happening. We give God many thanks for our gorgeous healthy son, and now our new baby. We have learned that His timing doesn't always go by our timeline and that's okay. We ask that you pray for our family as our last journey has ended and a new one begins.

The few people that we decided to share our struggle with didn't understand. Their well meaning comments only made things worse. I thought that I would scream if I heard "Well its just not the right time." one more time. Others tried to make us not want a baby so much by pointing out how much harder two babies would be. When a child was abused, neglected, or aborted, it made us ask "Why?" So many people, just to make small talk, ask "When are you going to have another one?" but it was gut wrenching to have nothing to say except "Someday." We even had lectures that, for Levi's sake, raising an only child would be a mistake and we totally agreed.
If you know someone who is suffering from infertilty the best thing that you can do for them is listen. Leave the advice to the professionals. You would be amazed what a hug and prayer can do.